As part of her personal growth, she once wanted to do something "which she could never do". She chose the physical challenge of joining a pole dance contest. Not just any competition, but the Dutch Championships in Paalsport 2018. Marieke de Bra, Amsterdam photographer and documentary maker. Throughout her therapy, she learns to deal around problems of intimacy and abandonment anxiety. Coupled with the motivation to join the NK Paalsport, she merges these paths into a documentary about her therapeutic process.
How exactly does that work?“The sessions at the therapist I pick up with my cell phone. I'm also going to have conversations with my parents about how we never talked about troublesome feelings at home. I'll take my cell phone with that, too. An extra camera guy is a little too much in those intimate settings. It is also a choice of style; the image you get with a smartphone feels much more intimate. But while training for the NK Paalsport, there is a cameraman in it."
What do you want with your audiencetell in this documentary? “I want to break the taboo associated with talking about emotions by talking about myself and my feelings. I just want to let you know that it's okay to feel yourself k#t. From home, there was no mention of emotion. Being nice to yourself, too, or finding yourself important, I never learned. Now that I'm in therapy, I'm learning to talk to my parents, too. The documentary is initially about my battlewith intimacy and the relationship to men. Besides, the message is that it’s okay if you don’t feel happy all the time and you can just talk about that. Do you feel emotionally neglected? Do you feel pain, emptiness, and loneliness? It's okay. Also, if you dwell on those emotions, you can still live a normal life.You can balance with that pain and emptiness, without being stuck in a deep valley because of it."
Marieke in conversation with her mother.
The road to balance goes with peaks and drops. For Marieke, schedule therapy, talking about feelings and meditation helps. The dance also helps her. What are you imagining in youpaldan choreografie? “What’s characteristic of how I was and thought about myself has been translated into the color of my outfit: nowde. I always figured myself out, never talking about myself at home, and just had to stay in the background. While I may find myself important and may and may stand in the forefront. The piece of music starts just like I subdued. The last part is very violent. I literally dance in battle with the pole. The fight is symbolic of all those things I'm going to engage in therapy and in the conversations with my parents. I'm gonna stand up for myself in the dance."
How did you get the idea of breaking pole dances in the therapeutic process? And then record it on image?” From home we have a dance school. The choice of a form of dance is not very strange. Besides, I see myself as an investigator and a “maker.” It was a logical sequel to record my trial. And because paldan is moving image, I find a documentary fitting better than a photo reporting."
Marieke trains 5 times a week.Using her great examples Dineke Minten and Juul de Metz, she refines her choreography.“Dineke and Juul believe in it. Even though there are techniques I don't control so well, I'm proud of the story I put down."
You also come to see this beautiful merge of therapy and dance duringNK Paalsport 2018on June 2 and 3? Maric dances in the Artistic Pole Senior Wowem category.